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Emily Blunt Rants on and on...Swag Wear
an emily blunt rant

 

 

 

As a struggling sketch comedian and writer, the money aint so flowing - if you know what I mean. But like the billions of artists before me it's a passion that won't give - or let me succumb to a nine-to-five job. Shudder. So you make do…

I've interviewed stars I'm not really keen on based on the hotel they want to meet at - and its inevitable pressroom buffet - to survive some weeks. But its kind of fun living off five bucks a week for my art; a challenge, shall we say.

The most utilized of the LA entertainment world pauper is swag. Swag, for those unaware of its meaning, is movie gifts. The studios makes tee shirts, gives watches, soundtracks, gadgets just about anything a film's logo can be silk-screened to. They give these often useful items to we lowly press folk as a 'thank you' at most press days, called junkets. The savvy journalist can truly work these items…

There's my comfy The Guru nightshirt covered by the silk (how about that!) Last Samurai kimono…the fancy watch, which worked as a "pricey" gift (shhh) for a certain spoiled nephew one has, courtesy of Pirates of the Caribbean. The autographbook from the upcoming Win a Date With Tad Hamilton - with the cast signatures (personalized) for the celeb loving niece's thirteenth birthday. And the sweet smelling shampoo donning this chickbabe's mane? That's Agua; an interview snag-a-roo from the designer's wet dream hotel called The Mondrian. Quality loot all for free.

Then there's the whole Los Angeles shopping experience. Sure, you've heard of Rodeo Drive and Melrose Avenue, but I journey into areas that would make Charles Dickens nervous. Why would I risk a possible mugging in the shadows of the Hollywood sign you ask? Well dear readers I get some pretty good deals. There's my Romanian gym suit (3.99) that looks like a Jo-lo thingy, and my dramatically accessorized jeans appear to be of that oh-so-trendy boutique in Santa Monica. But I paid 5.99. Swear. The sneakers? Nike™ but a certain Armenian storekeeper - somehow - sells them for 8.99.

See, I have an advantage over my fellow journalists, my mom. Straight out of a 'Sound of Music' script she taught me how to survive on a pittance. I can whip up a gourmet meal from a few spices and condiments or search through the warehouses of tax-write-off wear to find the right stitch and fabric - gleaming of quality for the in-the-know treasure seeker. Did you know most of the big name labels donate their wares to get a tax break - yep! Find out where in your neck of the woods.

Hey, wipe the smirk. I'm not cheap, I'm thrifty with exponents - have to be. Thrifty kind of in the way I'm eccentric not weird…I always say, "You can be poor and still have class." Be not proud and shabbily dressed. Look at this way, you can get five times the booty for the dough. Now who's smart?

Laugh not oh ye of brand-nameitus. There's these thriftshops of the stars too. The best is 'It's a Wrap'. A large store filled with studio throwaways. They have outfits labeled so you actually know who-ish wore them and in what production. My 40.00 Anne Klein™ executive suit? It debuted on 'The Practice'. I recently found a pair Express™ stonewashed low-cuts for 3.99 - new. Oh, what a glorious day that was. I celebrated by taking off my Romanian sweat suit, dolling myself up, and sauntering me and my new-found stylin' hip huggers to the 2.99 Thai Bowl restaurant find on Victory Boulevard. If you eat in moderation? It's two day's worth of chow - and a treat for the canines. Huge portions and incredible fare.

Los Angeles also has a store called the '99 Cent Store'. They mean it. Nothing is over .99. They have foods and toiletries, batteries and house wares. It's a plethora of deals. My first experience I'd thought I had died and gone to shopaholic's heaven. And if you know what you're looking for…I found angora berets from Lord and Taylor (still holding their original 22.00 price tag) one day! I bought them in four colors. Another day I found B&G Pickle - a British standard that I got hooked on while interning at the BBC years ago! It happens to sell at the specialty market for about four bucks.

It's a hobby/obsession and I am the queen of finds.

I have started to teach my equally thin walleted groupies the tricks of the trade…of course only those of the gaggle of gals that are not my size are given the trendy-on-a-dime wisdom. I'm nice but nay that nice. I shared with them the best in the Valley...it's the Value Outlet / Thrift Shop, 10929 Magnolia -- don't be decieved by its outer ickyness and reap the rewards of a beautiful outfit dears...

So next time you see me in a red carpet extravaganza note the gams and know this chickbabe knows how to hide her wealthless status well.

 

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