Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix , Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed,
Richard Harris, Derek Jacobi, Djimon Hounsou, Tomas Arana and
by: Ridley Scott
Evidently an ancient Roman word meaning n. Man-God with burly
legs and a handsome jaw line. itl. Molto bello uomo. -EM
you, lord, for Russell Crowe. It's been a long time since a
real 100% man walked out off the celluloid and into your eyeballs.
He's like Marlon Brando before the accidental swallowing of
a VW beetle
you now back before Jerry Springer, or the WWF... and way back
before late night American Gladiator they had a carnage
sport where men (women and dwarfs actually too) really battled
each other to the death to the sick glee thousands of
sadistic spectators? They were called "professional fighters"
But they didn't fight for some tacky heavy faux gold belt and
the love of a mini-waisted double D implanted bimbo named Bobby-Jo,
no. These lowly warriors fought for their lives (insert
the da da dumm theme here please).
our hero Maximus (Mr. Russell "Meow, mate" Crowe)
is a great general and favored by the current Caesar, Emperor
Marcus Aurelius (Richard "Camelot" Harris). He's also
ill fated to become one of these poor devils, a gladiator.
See, Caesar's gelatinous spined son, Commodus (Joaquin "Didn't
get the looks in the family but I got the talent"
Phoenix), is all bent into a full question mark when his father,
whilst dying, proclaims Maximus is ten times the man
he'd ever be...Well, to that affect. Therefore it is the Emperor's
wish is Maximus rule Rome...not whimpy snivelling momma's boy
Commodus immediately werewolfs on nobel Maximus and the
story starts to evolve.
think you see the turn of events coming. Revenge in the hands
of a raving lunatic with a name two letters off from commode
is pretty sh(&ty in any century let alone when tigers mauling
beefcake was an "in" sport.
story is classic. Very Shakespeare with interwoven incestual
threads, family conniving, a smidge of backstabbing, and of
course those low treacherous hums a buzz through the marble
walls. And in the middle of the mayhem, a hero. A rock of unswerving
morals and virtues, this is Maximus. Sniff...snort.
Cinematically, I felt like I'd been thrown back into the epic
era of film making. Why, it could have been Charlton "Chew"
Heston up there or Richard " Just a wee drink for the road
" Burton. Instead of one of Hollywood's best and hardest
working actors- Crowe. Finally, a talented actor breaks
through the mass of cute and trendy buttocks and emerges victorious.
Anywho, even with the fore mentioned stud (Crowe) , evil nemesis'
and diabolical storylines, there is even more wonderfulness
thrown in ...You get Oliver Reed as master of the gladiators
Yes, the violence got a touch nauseating -but, I may just be
being a girly-girl. The style of edit was unusual and interesting.
The cinematography looked rich and golden. Get out and see it.
recommendation: Tiger Tar Tar