Ben's little brother Casey Affleck, Bette Midler, William
Fichtner, Danny DeVito, Jamie Lee Curtis, Neve Campbell, Will
Farrell, and Marcus Thomas
by: Nick Gomez
rules are simple, always trust the Keebler Elves for your
fix "that time of the month" and Danny DeVito to
make a decent film.
cast in Drowning Mona is Creme de Brulee. I mean Casey
Affleck, Will Farrell, Neve Campbell, William Fichtner, Jamie
Lee Curtis AND The Divine Ms. M in the same movie? I
was frothing at the popcorn booth.
the story: The Dearlys family are anything but dear folks. They
could piss off a Mother Theresa. Ma Dearly, Mona (Bette Midler)
is a witch hag to the tenth power. Man, she spews words like
M16 artillery. The one usually receiving these rapid rabid fire
verbal assaults is poor sweet family friend Bobby (cutey pie
Casey Affleck). She guts him on a daily basis. The rest of her
family feeds off his carcass as well. The Dearly offspring,
Jeff (Marcus Thomas) is Bobby's dysfunctiona- idiot-boy partner
in a landscaping business. A business Jeff is dragging into
the ground what with his running over a customers dog here,
and coming on to a thirteen year old there. The Dearly father,
Phil (William Fichtner-very Albino Alligator looking)
is a whipped potatoe of a man from all Mona's pecking and enjoys
a cowardly venting or two also at Bobby's expense.
boils and boils, attempting to stick up for himself a few times,
to no avail. The townsfolk wonder why he puts up with them at
all. He'd be much better off without...
when Mona Dearly's deadly "accident" turns into a
who-could-have-wouldn't-have-dunnit, most feel the logical choice
is Bobby. Of course the neon sign of guilt he has on his forehead
could help, or maybe all the evidence that points directly to
him. But alas, chief Rash (ever precious Devito) really doesn't
want Bobby thrown in the clinker. Bobby, you see, is marrying
his beloved daughter Ellen (Neve "gorgeous hair" Campbell)
top all these Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman like goings
ons, the whole town was in some kind of experiment with the
Yugo car company and the crap boxes are everywhere! The whole
town is unnerving and a tad askew.
Casey Affleck (baby brother to Studamanorous Rex Ben) is wearing
a blonde wig that looks like the prop
supervisor bought it at a Jan and Dean convention-just hysterical.
Casey's filling out quite nicely girls. In another couple of
years he'll have facial hair then all's fair eh? Yummy.
bubbly as Ellen, but it's Jamie Lee Curtis who's the real scene
stealer as Rona. Rona is a punked out tack festival who believes
one should love the whole family. Her hobbies include
smoking and erotic foreplay toys like The Wheel Of Fortune
whole movie made my sides hurt. People there's nothing sadder
than a chickbabe like myself alone in at the movies on a Saturday
night roaring out loud with laughter. Well, except Hollywood
continually casting Will Farrell in bit parts! He was tear-jerkingly
funny as the towns eccentric mortician, Cubby. Be prepared.
girls keep an eye out for the ever morphing William Fichtner.
He's in everything. Usually not a good looking character...those
who be not shallow shall unearth a golden jewel...A stud muffin
with honey whipped butter oozing from his manly pores that is!
see this and enjoy. It's a well done funny movie.
Recommendation: Boneless chicken breast with beer.