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The Italian Job

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Jason Startheam, Charlize Theron, Seth Green, Mos Def, Edward Norton, and Donald Sutheland.
Directed by: F. Gary Gray

 

 

The Italian Job is one of those purrfect summer films! It's riddled with just the right mixture of beautiful movie stars, power-packed adrenaline pumping action sequences and a smidge of dastardly devil/bad guy gets-it-in-the-end mojo! It's a remake, er, re-styling of the classic Italian masterpiece of the same name, but it's so well done you'll forgive the deed...

A group of happy heisters, lead by über safe cracker John Bridger (Donald Sutherland) smoothly rip off a two-ton uncrackable safe filled with oodles of gold bouillon - literally.

It works like clockwork. But, when they rendezvous for the big divvy-up things go wrong.

One of the friends, Steve Frerezzi (dastardly devil/bad guy mustachioed Edward Norton) decides he aint into sharing and after all what's better then 2 million? Right. 20 million.

So he dissposes of the whole handsome group into a handy freezing river to the left - van and all - then scurries off with the loot like the rat faced bastard he is.

Fast forward a few months and it seems the group not only survived rat-boy's little double-crossing murder spree but now they're gung ho to recoup their losses, and of course kill him real good. Each has their expertise; Charlie (Marky Wahlberg) is the diplomat, Lyle (Seth Green) is the techno-brain, Left Ear (Mos Def) is an exlosive expert and "Handsome Rob" (Jason Stratham) drives like a banshee on crack.

They need a safe cracker to get back the gold from Steve's state-of-the-art anti-robbery safe thingy…they lost their guy (Sutherland) in the robbery of the robbery by the bad robber. They contact Stella Bridger (Charlize Theron) for the job. She's trustworthy, and talented. And it was her father that got killed. She eventually agrees, not for the money end of it -natch- but for dear old daddy-o.

The new team hatches an elaborate scheme involving those ahdorable BMW Mini-Coopers, and lots of technical mumbo jumbo that actually looks like it would work. We watch the caper of the centrury - smoothly - unravel.

Kudos to the screenwriters Donna and Wayne Powers (the revampers) and the production department for making this all so believable, thusly making the film one helluva action film.

Mark Wahlberg is his usual soft-spoken self…except he's been pumpin' up a tad. He's starting to resemble the duck that got the Acme Weight-On products of yesteryear. He's looking a little like a wrestling doll is all I'm saying. Not that I'd throw him out of my down duvetted color-coordinated boudoir mind you! Heaven's no. — he's still quite delectable in an over stuffed knockwurst way.

It's Hunkasnarus Rex Jason Stratham that had this manly-man viewing addict in a girly-girl tissy. El Purro! Oh happy day when his star moved from Guy Ritchie's area of the heavens to Hollywood's fair (not fair but um bright?) sky...okay the films are way more generic now, but LOOK at the man.He sacrifices for our viewing pleasures. And this film's actually quite good. We'll forget a few of his filmatic faux pas of poo out of pure kindness...and lust.

For those of you into the feline species….Charlize Theron is stunning as always. She has a nice role in this too. The very first scene is bizarre - she talks to her dad like it's her lover…I was like, "Oh, no another old geezer with a Hollywood hotty film." I was wrong and thankful.

Seth Green is precious as the dorky gang member and is spot on as the quirky gang member.

Get out and see this! Just be sure there's no Mini-Cooper dealerships between you and the cinema…or you may be trading in old Betsy for the little darling!

Snack Recommendation: Extra virgin olive oil drizzled over Stratham, er, crustini…


 

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