STARS, IN FACT ""
Ice Cube,Natasha Henstridge, Jason Statham,Clea DuVall,
Pam Grier and Joanna Cassidy
Directed?By: John Carpenter
anybody tell me the last time John Carpenter actually produced
something worth seeing? I remember a few years back being
absolutely tortured while watching that barf bag of frames
also directed by him. It may be the healing power of time,
but I think Ghosts of Mars is actually worse...if
the stars in this film have no management? Especially Jason
Stratham, the oddly handsome British bloke from all
the Guy Ritchie films of perfection.
I can hardly believe he read this and said "oy, this
sounds like a bit of the alright then! I'm gonna make me
a 'orror film mum." Aagh.
there's oddly beautiful Clea Duvall (not related to Robert
BTW) she has such a promising career. She stole her few
scenes back in Girl Interrupted,
why would she opt in to this? I always hear about struggling
actresses and how hard it is to get work...maybe that's
can almost forgive the Bridget Fonda-esque Natasha Henstridge;
she is after all the star of the movie...
there's Ice Cube who's name screams out for sarcastic metaphors
to be thrown around freely, but because he's already scraping
the bottom of the script pile I'm gonna cut him some slack
Pam Grier is the shining light of the whole damn abominable
thing and they kill her first! Don't worry I'm not ruining
the story-- and I use that term in it's lowest pre-school
definition here- folks.
of Mars has a theme similar to Final
Fantasy's plot faux pas. Mars has dormant microbes
that are awaken when miners unearth, er un-Mars them. They
infect the workers who become extras looking for a Hellraiser
set at Warner's studio. They come complete with pins and
needles, masks made of human flesh and that Night of
the Living Dead desire for humans! Oh scary...
the commander (Pam Grier) and her troop of police show up
to the mining town to escort prisoner Desolation Williams
(Ice Cube Treats) back to the city all hell brakes loose.
The zombies are stoppable, but there's just so gosh darn
many of them!
the crew get out alive...What do you think?
this, don't even rent it later or you'll be folding laundry
to amuse yourself while it plays as a chore-night soundtrack--
of which there really was none-- in the back ground.
The credits claim music by John Carpenter...um, where? What
an angry red planet waste of time.
Recommendation: Dinner and skip the movies if this is
all you haven't seen yet. Or find Ghost
World- that's brilliant.