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Corky Romano

Starring:
Chris Kattan, Peter Falk and some others I'm doing the favor of not mentioning.
Directed By:
Robert Pritts
Rated: PG-13

 

Crappy, er, Corky Romano is an example of not knowing when a film's just better off not being completed. Cut your losses half way through, donate the film that's left to some starving film student, pay off the actors what you agreed upon and simply dissipate before it is too late.


But, not this time. This time the cast, producers and director watched dailies and decided collectively "Yeah, this is a funny movie, well, a movie anyway, look it has moving frames that glow when a lamp is lit behind them! Heck let's just go for it."

Bad idea. See the humor, and I use that word in its most elementary sophomoric caveman turned to the other caveman and said "why did the chicken cross the road" form, is so blatant and telegraphed it's not only unenjoyable but nerve grating. One feels almost violent when leaving the theater. Who's the audience? The gags, which never end unless there's some canned plot movement dialog being offered up for sacrifice, are too dirty-ish for youngin's and too idiotic for teens. In fact for anyone with a cranium that houses a minuscule of mushy substance, this is like mental capitol punishment disguised as family entertainment…

Corky Romano (Chris "I'm funny-I really am, please don't judge me from this…PLEASE" Kattan) is the unloved, unknown sibling in a large mafia family in the middle of a huge federal investigation. The FBI is about to indict his pop "Pops" Romano (Peter "It was a lark, I did it for the funny kid Kattan " Falk). Since the feds are not aware of Corkys existence the family decides to "sneak" him into the FBI as a spy. Oh please.

The hack that arranges Corky's credentials makes him out to be a super agent. He's given the name Agent Pissant (hardyharha). His resume includes his fluent abilities in Mandarin, Taiwanese, etc, plus martial arts, sharp shooting, it's false to the tenth power…This means we will be seeing oh-so-many jokes off this erroneous resume. Meanwhile his outlandish buffoonery would be spotted by a blind and deaf mole living three states away, but we are suppose to believe the FBI is this dumb. Breathein and remember it's comedy and hope the movie makers don't take the road their heading towards…

Oops ( just short of the rubber chicken whacked upside the head) they do and a Bad Comedy Script Flaws 101's syllabus is laid before us for the rest of the movie…Corky starts to fall for another agent …Snore. Corky starts to respect the FBI agents he's working with…Snore. Audience members... snore.

The saddest part of the film was seeing Chris Penn as Corky's mafioso bully brother. He had such promise. Is he some sort of troublemaker? I mean what happened to this guy? Dear God somebody give him a role. And not a bread roll, criminey he needs to slow down on the In And Out Burgers man.

Chris Kattan, believe it or not, is still one of my favorite comedians. He's clever and willing to do anything for a laugh. I loved him in Monkey Bone and still believe it was the goofy cartooned monkey that kiboshed that sublimely brilliant film. Chris just needs a good vehicle, maybe a TV show on NBC or something?

Don't see this if you respect anyone in the cast or comedy in general.

Snack Recommendation: Girl Scout cookies at home with a video.


 

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