Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Elias Koteas, Francesca
Neri, Cliff Curtis, John Leguizamo, John Turturro, and Jsu Garcia
Directed by: Andrew Davis
born Hunkasnarus Rex Arnold Schwarzeneggerhiemerschmidt is as
American as apple pie! Sure he's imported, so are half our citizens.
We adore him. I admit I'm a huge fan. He always gets
the bad guys real good and seems genuinely nice off screen.
having been said, Collateral Damage is my least favorite
of Arnie's knock-em sock-em slow-mo - bursts of brimstone -FX
laden flicks so far. There are redeeming parts, and clever one
liners delivered with his signature adorably accented droll
delivery that makes you shimmy with excitement
the most part, the film just has way too many never- could-
happen- scenarios (even for an Arnie film) placed in a story
where we are suppose to believe this regular Joe type gets caught-up
in terrorism after he is directly affected by it. So the film's
setup of look-at-the-realism disappeared fast.
Damage starts with a Backdraft intense fire scene
where we learn Gordon "Gordie" Brewer (Arnold) is
not just a great fireman but a bonifide hero type. Firemen in
general have that special mix of manly DNA that drives them
into the flames to save Fluffy the house dog. And Gordie is
chiseled directly from that creed. Absolutely willing to risk
his own life for another. Good thing 'cause he's about to be
put to a hero's test...
He's late to meet his beloved son and wife downtown. As they
spot him and the family waves with glee to each other, the building
between them is blown up. The wife and child perish.
is crushed, and friggin rabid (well, as rabid as Arnie acting
abilities allow the character to be...he looked a bit steamed
at least). Ah, but Gordie's seen the terrorist responsible for
the attack, the one they call "The Wolf" or "el
Lobo (Cliff Curtis)" a Colombian gorilla with a deep hatred
for America. El Lobo escapes into the Colombian jungles. Sorry
Gordie, he's now just unfindable. The government calls it a
day. But, Gordie figures if the government can't get him, he
Oh, yeah, we are heading on the road to vengeance with Arnold!
Yippee. We get a few semi-cameos from John
Turturroturtle and John Leguizamo
as we journey deep into the under belly of Colombia to find
Gordie's nemesis el Lobo.
makes it past oodles of obstacles, as we'd expect from any self-respecting
action packed film! And of course he manages to find el Lobo
in about two days. Remember, this Lobo character is the
man the government has deemed simply unfindable (you can see
the patriotic metaphor here?).
great right? Bad guy taken out by one tough firefighter with
a big huge hair across his (still) buff butt? Yeah, but, it
loses something with the jumping around and attempts to be intelligent
without really explaining what the hell they are talking about.
We get the feeling all of Columbia is a cesspool ridden with
okay, maybe it is. I doubt it. Remember Proof
of Life? Dear God that was scary. The characters were
real for us
Plus they explained the back story a wee bit
more. I know, I know Schwartzenegger doesn't need no stinking
plot line! We want to see him save the day. Agreed. Then make
it all action and tough, don't tease us with a storyline is
all I'm saying!
Schwartzenegger is aging like a fine California Merlot. Let's
face it he's a cool movie star. Not so much sexy but one feels
he's a protector extraordinaire even if in reality he probably
has "handlers" do all his gardening and dirty work
down to taking out his trash.
must say there's a brief bit of yummy within all the over dramatic
violence. A Chap named Jsu Garcia. He's el Lobo's top officer,
Roman. MEOW! I'd gladly dress up in fatigues and roll around
in the jungle for that fellow. Heck, I'd even skip a day of
El Lobo's wife, Selena, is played by mega-beautiful Francesca
Neri. You'll probably be seeing more of her...More serious things.
Koteas plays CIA agent Peter Brandt. A slithering man willing
to sacrifice a hunky fireman if need be...He was almost scarier
than el Lobo!
line? If you love Arnie go see this as soon as possible. I mean
how can you resist? For those who without total recall of his
finer action films, wait till video.
recommendation: Plantains and rice.
aside: Collateral Damage did have the most nauseating
scene I've seen on film to date. It involves a two-foot snake,
and one poor sonovabitch jungle henchman of el Lobo's who made
a bad judgment call. El Lobo tortures this man by prying his
mouth open with some hideous apparatus then "slips"
a live snake down the man's throat until, well
Official Site is awsome...enjoy!