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BewitchedBewitched

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Michael caine, Shirley MacLaine and Jason Schwartzman
Directed.written by: Nora Ephron

 



Bluntly speaking? Egads I am about to use a mediocre adjective, as also a nutshell haiku verb, Bewitched is adequate. Nothing more. And for the gold bullion required to sally forth to a theater, they'd better have good cause - an' adequate does not a journey forth maketh.

Story goes....Ac-tor Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) wants to redo the beloved TV series 'Bewitched,' in hopes of jump starting his flailing career. But he needs to find the perfect Samantha - one that he can look better next to, manipulate, and ultimately not take away from his radiant "star." He and we all know the fate-of-the-Darrens...

Anyway...blah blah blah....forced laugh - giggles ahead, he finds Isabel (Nicole Kidman) - well her "nose." And that's it! Jack knows Isabel is perfect for the part of Samantha, the TV witch. Oh, and of course we all know she happens to also be a card carrying broom-cruisin bonifide witch. But she's more a kind of recovering witch. Trying to leave the brood...be "normal." As opposed to an Abbie Normal chickbabe with to-die-for powers at a twitch...no one's ever happy.

But faster then you can try and name the "Samantha" who made Bewitched really good way-back-when, Isabel really gets a slap of mortal life. She learns Jack's kind of an ass, and not exactly what he pretends to be (Jack's an actor remember?). So, Issie starts whipping up some toil and trouble, before he gets a chance to polish any...MTV Awards or Emmys.

Now ya didn't see that twist comin' didya? Holy crimeney where's my Citizen Kane dvd I need to bathe off the mental goo of all these franchises, repugnant remakes, and regurgitations. Remember when there were still good strong original films to be had?

Nicole Kidman is actually quite cute as a twitching witch using her powers as all gals would; getting the rat bastard back, insta-cute car whammies, and better service at a restaurant. But, even the ever-perk bunny can't save a plodding forced-felt script.

Will Ferrell is starting to grate upon my frail nerves. Sure, he's one of the funniest fellas walking - but the film folks can't seem to get him a proper vehicle to radiant in. People when was the last time he was truly funny? Right...SNL, and Austin Powers...I shall stop before I say something extreme...but my loyalties are slippin' fast.

Shirley MacLaine is primo as Endora the mortal-hating uber-bitchy would-be mother-in-law witch. Dear Jason Schwartzman in a big budget film - awe shucks. Too bad this one kinda sucks. But he's good -as usual. And I shall pretend I didn't see Michael Caine and Steve Carrell among the mish mosh.

I see where Ms. Usually Grand Nora Ephron is coming from; perhaps she and the gals were three bottles in, started chatting about an ex-Spelling TV star, and then said, "He should do a remake of 'Bewitched' he'd be a purrfect Darren." Then click-clack, "That's a great idea for a film." Wine goggles - I blame wine goggles.'

Bewitched's funny bits and general ambience can be seen in the trailers bombarding you at every turn. Really there's just fill awaiting you at the multi-plex. Die-hard original fans may love the few nods to the show. The rest of ya? Wait till Netflicks.

Snack recommendation: Gorton's Fish Sticks snuck into another film...

 

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