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The Dickhead DetectorsThe Ramco Dickhead Detectors©
"When Bottom Feeding For a Casual Sex Partner Just Won't Do"

Watch the Eddie Award Winning commercial here


Say gals, ever wonder what that man across the room is really like? Sure, we all have. Well, wonder no more! Our scientists in Kualeawiioahoporea have devised a device so state of the art it's beyond mere mortal comprehension. Simply tap the Dickhead Detectors© activation module, so cleverly hidden we can't swear to it's where abouts, and up pops a complete and - accurate - history of the man right before you! As if by magic a tiny viewing device strategically implanted into the lenses streams his statistics! You'll soon know all. Investment banker huh? Hmm, give The Dickhead Detectors© a tap. Only $123.65


LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT HIS:
  • Outstanding Warrants
  • Bathing Habits
  • Musical Tastes
  • Sexual Preferences After Tequila
    and more...


Look for this exciting new product from Ramco:
The Bitch Barometer©

"Taking the Guess Work Out of Getting Laid"


Execu-wipesAKEW© Brand Execu-Wipes
"For a Minty Fresh Ass-Kissing Smile!"



AKEW© Brand Execu-Wipes help eliminate those embarrassing fecal stains that tend to appear on the upwardly mobile young executive's mouth area from their daily analingus sessions with their boss' ass! Thanks to the discreet minty fresh AKEW© Brand Execu-Wipes your colleagues need never know of your extracurricular activities alone with the one person who can make your corporate dreams come true! After all your personal acheivement strategies are your own business. With AKEW© Brand Execu-Wipes you simply go about your sphincter slurping as you normally would. Then when your finished remove one of the AKEW© Brand Execu-Wipe packets, and wipe, wipe, wipe away the demoralizing filth and shame from tangible view.

  • Only 14.99 A box (12) That's over a week of sanitary ass-kissing! *
  • Or for you you really busy analigus specialists we suggest our Econo-AKEW© Brand Execu-Wipes box (365) Only 49.00 And your covered for every ass-kissing day of the year! *

Crack Teen Tammy Jo WATCH the first episode ever of Crack Teen Tammy Jo
Ms. Bolin's comedy, here and at Circus of Comedy.com has taken off. So we decided to share one of her first comedy shorts ever - It's a huge file so you must have DSL or better to view (it's also from way back when Flash was new and it looks it!) But all the cartooning is Ms. Bolin - Take a peak->

 

 


Action Vince Vaughn Colorformish© Playkit!
"You can't get near the real Vince Vaughn (legally for some of us...)so get the next best thing!"

 

 

 

It's hard waiting for a new Vince Vaughn film to come out. We understand. A gal needs something to fiddle with — if you know what we mean — and we think that you do! Keep those idle naughty little fingers active with The Action Vince Vaughn Colorformish© Playkit. TAVVCK comes with adorable accessories like: Two pair of coordinated 'Premier Wear' outfits. A plethora of "styling" hats for his many moods. And as if that were not truly enough, we throw in a collector's edition millennium edition cassette tape with renowned celebrity voice impersonator Juan Frankmetor paraphrasing many of Vince's famous expressions like:

  • "Your SO Money baby" - Swingers
  • The Laugh - Clay Pigeons
  • " If I give you twenty bucks, do I get a better room?" - Made
  • The Laugh - Psycho and many more.

    ONLY $ 49.99
    (Sorry sold out)

Bev Johnson and her piggy Dixie GirlArmour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy
"Nothin' Says Yum Like a Pig's Brain!"


(Dial Corp.):Scrumdelish! If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a single serving of pork brains has over 1,170 percent of our recommended daily cholesterol intake. Now your talkin' a fast way to grand pa's assets huh? The helpful chefs at Armour have included a scrumptious recipe on the label for pork brains and scrambled eggs...Mmmmm Good! There's not enough money in the wolrd for a treat like thisin'

BluntAside: This is a real product (shudder). There is a point were the animal just needs to be buried, no?— Emily Blunt


Crackteen Tammy JoCrack Teen Tammy-Jo©
"Crack Teen Tammy Jo© is Outta Rehab and Lookin' to Hang With Yer Youngin'!"
Watch the Eddie Award Winning Commercial here


Now ya'll can be keepin' the hootin' and hollerin' coming ...Crack Teen Tammy Jo's© outta rehab and looking to hang with your youngins'! Crack Teen Tammy Jo© comes complete with her own adorable accessories: A real-life like tinfoil crack pipe, piercings -you can place were you want, two pair of 'stylized' nylons, black stilettos and her blood donar card!

Available in Caucasian, Asian, Quasi-Latin, Afro-American or American Indian. Only $69.51
(Crack Teen Tammy Jo's ©Trailer Home sold separately-Sorry, vibrator not included).
(See her Debut Cartoon here)



Day Off ActivatorRamco's Day Off Activator
"Your Just a Pill Away..from Making it Your Day"
Play Radio Commercial

Are you tired ? Need a day off? Well, the new Day Off Activator™ from Ramco is here to give you some time away from the office! Simply ingest the packet marked D.O.A. Formula™ and head off to your doldrum job. Within 15 minutes you'll be sweating profusely! Within 30 you'll be frothing at the mouth! We guarantee it.

What boss would say no to this kind of evidence? Once he sees the legions that form around your softer skin tissue areas (I.E.: Eye, mouth,or genitalia areas) he'll sign the work release form himself! Then the day is yours to shop, SHOP, SHOP.

You will need to ingest the packet marked D.O.A. Antidote™ within 47 minutes of initial ingestion of the D.O.A.Formula™ packets. But, after that (and the intense swelling and/or pain goes away) the day is yours to frolic and have fun. Only $ 36.99

Warning: Ecoli virus AKA D.O.A. Formula™ can cause blindness, sterilization, additional limb growth and change of species, use sparingly. Ramco is not responsible for anything. By breaking the seal on the D.O.A. Formula™ you agree to absolutely no rights or ability to sue. FDA unapproved. Patent possibly pending.


Cow Head NoveltyAntique-like Heirloom Quality Cow Head Jam Holder
"Quality Like This Doesn't Grow On Trees!"



Imported from our secret special suppliers in a place we like to call Kulallalaumporina, you may just think you've stumbled across a House of Tiffany treasure! Your friends will surely be a green hue with envy when this finely detailed "family heirloom" makes it's way beside your favorite biscuit tureen! We use real glass pressed by little foreign hands that work day and night to ensure the quality of their art.The details are glorious!

We want you to take advantage of this pricable treasure - so we've made special purchase and we can now offer you BOTH the Cow's Head and the matching glass-like Spoon for the unherd of price! Only $19.64 (Sorry, luxury jams sold separately).


Sex ApparatusRelaxo Swingy-Thing©™®
"Millions and Millions Are Enjoying Something!"
Play Radio Commercial


With the popularity of last month's Marquis De Sade face mask and skin purifier, we spared no expense at undigging this Relaxo-Swingy Thing©™® Whether you're beat from work or just plain been beaten, this little leather slice of heaven simply screams...ahhhhhooogh! An admitted personal favorite here at Blunt Review! Only $69.69 (A steal when you consider we throw in the ceiling screws).


Sleepy Woo Woo TapesSleepy Time Tapes
"A Different Yet Economical Way To Spend Your Money"

Here's one way to beat the stresses of the day! After the popularity of last month's sleep inducing promotional tape,"Bone Collector Night Night" audio tape...we didn't think we could find a better Sleepy Time Tape audio out there...we did...here it is. 90 minutes of Kim Basinger's character in I Dreamed of Africa droning on and on about..well... who knows what all. And frankly we don't really care! But neither will you. Why? You'll be lulled into the land of Narm within minutes with her snorefest voice-over extravaganza! Only $3.65!

Act now and we'll throw in the Salma Hayek "Get Irritated and Stick up for Yourself in any Situation" audio cassette. After 30 minutes of her incomprehensible Spanglish banter you'll wanna beat up your own mother! Quantities limited!


*All store "products" written and designed by Erika Bolin. ©/WGA Erika Bolin.

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